THE EXHIBITIONS

end of "Chaos and Structure" signing disappears altogether. Let us now return to the two aforementioned paintings. The missing component, which makes these two paintings uncompleted, is blue. There had been something very complicated about blue, and up to this point I always had to wrestle with this color, but now it had become utterly impossible! I did not have the ability to find the right tone, or even to make a serious effort. That this represents the capitulation to something overwhelming is well in accordance with the subject of the next section.

    Finally there is painting No. 54. which occupies a unique position in the exhibition, in that it represents the actual turning point of the transformation process. This is when "Transformation" changes from a controlled and reasonably calm environment to something very chaotic and dramatic. When the top of the mountain is reached, the only way forward is down.

Go to the exhibition Transformation, section Chaos and Structure.

(5) Descent.

    I remember very well how startled I was by painting No. 56., when I had completed it. It was the first painting I finished in this section. It was so different from what I had previously done and in a strange way, I did not become aware of this until it was finished. Apparently, I was entering a new world. As I mentioned above, I was in a state of disintegration of consciousness and now this development accelerates, and as this section title tells us, this follows a downward path. Judging by the paintings, this state is among other things associated with darkness. In contrast to the previous sections, this one is divided into subdivisions. The first four - Introduction, Water, Red Phase, and Green Phase - describe a chronological order, while the paintings in the appendix are scattered observations made during the descent, which is a break from the prior division in strict chronological order. The scattering of this order is well in accordance with what I remember from this period: The work was characterized by confusion, everything was muddled, and I also had great difficulty completing paintings. At the same time, the first four subdivisions are clearly differentiated from each other, in a strange way something very much ordered coexists with great confusion. The work, which had been characterized by a slight case of hubris, had now been counter-balanced with the likes of frustration, despair, exhaustion and confusion. I must say that I see the paintings in "Descent" as extraordinary, not only in themselves, but also the fact that I actually managed to paint them.

    "Descent" is a complicated collection of paintings that can give rise to many observations. One of these is the destructive side of creativity, which I feel is clearly conveyed by these paintings. From one perspective, it is the story of how something old, well-known and habitual, has to die in order for something new to take its place. Even though this death is necessary for change to take place, it is also painful. From a more general point of view, it can be stated that the constellation of creative-destructive forces exists in the mystical relationship of opposites, and to reach the truly creative forces, it seems that in my case, this requires the knowledge of strong destructive powers. The seed of the truly great conquest can be found in total defeat. I definitely did not grasp the full meaning of painting No. 17. when it was made.

    A painting that clearly stands out in this section is No. 55. This light painting alone constitutes a counter-balance to all the other paintings in "Descent", and I feel its uniqueness is striking. I associate it with something of a supportive nature, a steadying force in an extremely unstable phase of the transformation process, indeed a guardian angel. In this context, one also cannot disregard the angel's function as messenger, the communicator of vital information. As the attentive observer has probably noted, the appearance of painting No. 74. in this section is not a coincidence. The question of good and evil is of the greatest relevance in this part of the transformation, and in conjunction with this, the moral standpoint. To act out, without reflection and conscious attitude, can indeed be very destructive.

Go to the exhibition Transformation, section Descent.

DREAMS

    Dreams represent a very personal sphere and as I have stated earlier, I do not want to comment on such things. However, there are observations of a more general nature that can be of interest in this context. In the introduction, I mentioned that I started observing my dreams at the time I began painting. These are two worlds that interact in a mysterious and vague manner and I have followed both with the greatest interest. The world of dreams is a strange one. There the dimensions of time and room, so intimately connected with us, are invalidated. Logic does not exist and anything can happen. In our dreams we meet people and animals that we recognize